My breast cancer journey

The beginning

The beginning of the year in the Syed household is a time filled with all things back-to-school and themed birthday parties. With all four birthdays within a 30-day span, planning the festivities and wrangling toddlers is usually my top priority.

As it turns out, 2024 had other plans for me. On January 3, I got news that turned my world upside down – I tested positive for breast cancer. I received the results of the initial test that all but confirmed my diagnosis before I could talk through it with my doctor. Lesson number 1 of this journey was learned on that very first day – don’t google your test results before seeing your doctor. That rest of that week was filled with tears, and more what ifs than I could count.

I spent the following week getting poked and prodded during the testing that would determine the scope and treatment plan for my stage-3 cancer.  On January 15, I met with my full team of doctors at MD Anderson. A team of amazing badass women from all over the world who would work together to save my life. I instantly connected with them and felt safe. They told me they can cure me, but it would be an onerous, yearlong journey. I finally had a plan of attack. I was going to live!

Before getting this good news, my mind spiraled through doom and gloom scenarios. How will Asghar raise our two kids alone? How will Raza and Ayah cope? How will I navigate death? Strangely, it was good to process this part of the journey before the medical plan was in place, because it also forced me to tap into the generosity of my amazing community.

I am not fighting this alone. There are so many beautiful humans looking out for me and my family. Accepting their kindness and their encouraging words was a reminder that I can and will beat this. Which leads me to lesson number two: accept love and kindness. As a type A, it is hard for me to accept that I can’t do something by myself. It’s hard to navigate ambiguity. But I can choose to navigate this with mostly gratitude. I have a huge challenge ahead of me, but I also have a plan, and a team. There’s no time for doom and gloom here. I have work to do. I have a life to live.

I got back into planning mode. The most important thing for me was to give Raza and Ayah the birthdays they had been dreaming about: Pokémon and Minnie Mouse themed parties. I quickly scheduled these around my chemo cycles. Ayah is still beaming after her Minnie party with her little friends. Raza’s party is in two weeks, but he got his gift a bit early – a trip to Legoland :)

I had my first chemo infusion on Jan 15. It’s a long process, with lots of setup and cool down time (literally, as I use cold caps to freeze my hair follicles in an attempt to save my hair). The cancer-fighting drugs themselves aren’t too bad yet, but I’ve been told I could feel side effects in a day or two.

Which leads me to lesson number three: take things a week at a time. That’s all I can process and retain. The road to beating cancer is not a straight and simple path. It is confusing and painful, and I have to be ready for anything. I‘m lucky to have a partner who is the most responsible person I know. He is also really good at depositions and takes meticulous notes during every appointment. I haven’t sustained the same level of interest in the details because it gets it’s overwhelming real fast.

But I can celebrate the little things. Which leads me to lesson number four: I have control over how I respond and react to cancer. I had my first chemo infusion which means I’m finally fighting this evil thing. I was able to create core memories for my kids before some tough ones came their way. I have the best friends who keep things real and can handle the truth after asking me how I’m doing. I have the most wonderful husband who has put me first in every way to ensure we come out of this stronger together. 

Cancer does absolutely suck, but it doesn’t define me. Lesson number five: I’m not alone. One in eight women go through this difficult journey.  I’m leaning on survivors, learning from them and prioritizing what brings me peace. This diagnosis has changed my life forever, but it will only be one chapter of my story.